On March 20, 2019, Mr. Aquafina #12 rallied up a crowd of mistreated water bottles. He, himself had suffered from these children who bottle-flipped or smashed his other brethren and tossed them into the wrong trash cans. When they go into these trash cans, they are not recycled, therefore given their death (in their “world”).  They were angry at the recycling problem here at Day Creek (or lack thereof). #12 was kind enough to give the Howl an exclusive interview.

“I saw things that no water bottle should ever have to witness. My fellow water bottles were strewn all over the floor and (gasp) tossed in the black trash cans (incoherent wailing).”

Mrs. Arrowhead #367 agreed with him, though they have an ongoing rivalry about which brand of water bottle is a better type of plastic (if you’re looking for  an entertaining moment, tell them they’re exactly the same). “My 42 children were discarded by these little demons who wished to disturb our peaceful environment. I want my children to have a beautiful recycling! I WANT REVENGE!”

Mr. Smartwater #2 provided some statistics about the “horrid humans throwing us into the wrong disposal can!”  “Apparently, these evil little monsters only recycle us 23% of the time. Are they trying to ruin our economy? We want to look just as beautiful as Fiji #5 (similar to a Kardashian in our world)!”  

Luckily, we also got some insight on the matter from Fiji #5. “I know that people would love to look the way that I do, but some people just don’t get recycled the same way that I did. (snooty laughter) I was given the utmost care and respect as I was hand washed and BURNT TO A CRISP! And then they made me beautiful again. With a little bit of plastic surgery added as well.”

N.O. Recycling said, “I really don’t see the big deal. So what if we throw them on the floor?” [FIJI PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN!] “It’s not like it’s going to affect anyone.”

We also got an interview with the water bottle queen, Dasani Sparkling, who had some other interesting things to say on the matter, “I really don’t understand. How hard is it? Just please take care of our environment.”

So please Coyotes, listen to Queen Dasani Sparkling. Keep our school clean by only putting cans and bottles in the blue cans and all other trash in the black cans. Thank you Coyotes!