Picking and wearing clothes use to be one of the most straightforward tasks for me.

I could wear whatever was in my reach and not care what it was. I wouldn’t care if I was wearing a bright pink shirt and red pants; I knew they didn’t match, but I felt confident with whatever was on me.

Society has clearly stated its standards for fashion. Since the beginning of time people have work to define what works and what doesn’t. It’s not easy keeping up with today’s standards and trends.

It’s human nature to go with the crowd, though few dare to stand out. And standing out is difficult.

I was always known to be different from all the girls.

I was told I was “one of the boys.”

To a girl who has always struggled with her femininity, that shot me down. I was looked down upon for liking what boys do.

Being judged for liking video games and playing football made me struggle with my identity. I was only in elementary school and growing up was hard enough

Why should I be judged for liking blue or not wearing pink like the rest of the girls?

As I entered the fifth grade, the same thoughts nagged at me. By fifth grade, I had horrible anxiety; even walking into a room was hard for me. The blue shirt that was on my chest and the grass-stained pants I wore made me hate clothes in general. Finding a style that fit and held to society’s standards made me panic.

I use to be that girl.

I use to be the girl who cared so desperately about what others thought about my clothes.

My lost sense of femininity has returned to me, and I have found my style again. I now wear what I feel helps my femininity. I’ve been able to discover who I am with my style.

I didn’t know when I was younger that only I could define myself and if I am feminine enough. My clothes are just an outlet of expressing myself. And that’s beautiful.