It’s undeniable. Middle schoolers date. They hold hands, pass notes in class, and stay up late to text each other. 

But is going through all the ups and downs of a young relationship worth it?

Though this may be surprising for parents, students live in a world where being ‘together’ isn’t unusual. 

“You can expect [dating] from middle schoolers,” said Violet K, a 7th grader at Day Creek, “This is middle school.”

Almost all students have either heard of people dating or have been in a relationship themselves. This is the new norm for middle school students.

“Middle schoolers often jump into relationships because it’s fun,” said Rosalie P. 

At the start of a new relationship, students sometimes experience a boost of self-esteem because they feel valued.

“I have seen kids come in, and they’re in a new relationship and they’re elated. Their confidence is boosted, they’re engaged in class [and] they’re proud of themselves,” said Mrs. Harris, a 7th grade teacher at Day Creek. 

However, once that relationship starts going downhill, it’s a different story.

“When that relationship has ended, I can see the student disengage from class, probably because they’re upset,” said Mrs. Harris.

Because middle schoolers are still emotionally maturing, it can be hard to maintain focus on schoolwork with the ups and downs of a relationship. Pressure to seem cool in front of friends and peers in an effort to maintain a social life is not easy. And all of that has to come with a balance 

    The two sunflowers represent students during a 

          relationship and after it has ended.

“When students are romantically interested, they are not themselves and tend to show off sometimes,” said Mrs. Harris.  

This adds strain to a young relationship, and priorities can get out of hand when a student’s schoolwork should be their first priority.

“I think there is a pressure when you enter middle school to experience dating, and whether that experience is good or bad can affect how someone behaves,” said Mrs. Gaines, Day Creek’s school counselor.

Research verified this, as nearly 38% of middle school students date, and 22% of them started in sixth grade when they were younger and less emotionally mature. Breakups are inevitable as middle schoolers are too young to experience all the elements of a truly committed relationship.

“I’ve seen a lot of students [whose] grades and attendance suffer from relationships. We get so invested in these other people that we’re ‘dating’ that we lose track of our own goals and priorities,” said Mrs. Gaines.

So why do students date if they can’t commit to a relationship? What’s the point of going through all the ups and downs of a relationship when it can’t go anywhere?

“[Dating] can be a fun distraction, but it can also be a detrimental distraction. The person is going to be able to know what they can handle and what they can not handle,” said Mrs. Gaines.